Being there.” That’s the message that Bill Scatolini ’96 and three other fathers developed when they created FourFathers, a group that focuses on strengthening the bonds between fathers and daughters.
“Fathering starts from day one. You can’t jump in at the teenage level,” says Scatolini, who rides bikes, hikes, swims and “hangs out” with his three daughters—Mia, 9; Jenna, 7; and Ava, 4—on a consistent basis.
Scatolini stresses that having open links of communication with his daughters allows him to know what is going on in their lives and, ultimately, will make them stronger young women.
The FourFathers message focuses on fathers giving time, sincere attention and unconditional love to their daughters to ensure they grow up with a strong connection to their fathers and, in turn, to their entire family.
Scatolini first got the idea for a company with such a mission through his own experiences as a father, wanting to raise daughters who were confident and proud of their identity.
The seed of the idea, though, traces back to Westfield State.
Scatolini earned an education certificate at the University in 1996, and he recalls that his professors always stressed there was a proper way to address female students.
“You were not to address girls and guys as ‘guys’ in the classes,” Scatolini recalls. Instead, terms such as “boys and girls” or “ladies and gentlemen” were used to acknowledge the two different genders.
The emphasis caught Scatolini’s attention, and he’s kept it in the back of his mind. Now, it is at the forefront of his FourFathers work, and Scatolini is grateful to have been taught the distinction.
“Education was a big part of the base that brought out this idea,” he says. “I don’t think all fathers understand the importance of being connected to their daughters.”
The president of Scatolini Insurance in Wilbraham, having taking over the business from his father, Scatolini is married to Tracy (Auslander) Scatolini ’96, who earned a master’s degree in psychology at the University.
He says fathers who fail to connect on an emotional level with their daughters risk raising children with lower self-esteem and a weaker sense of identity.
He says being engaged with what a child is saying or doing lets them know that you respect them and value them, giving them a base for building their self-esteem and living a happier, better life.
Based on Scatolini’s own readings and knowledge on the subject, he says most girls’ self-esteem peaks at age 9 before plummeting when they hit double-digits. Scatolini hopes that fewer young women will feel that downward plunge if the FourFathers’ message gets out in a way that is widespread.
FourFathers has gained a great deal of success through support from the community. For instance, the company partnered with the Girl Scouts of Central and Western Massachusetts last spring in a father-daughter pizza-making party to get more fathers out and about with their daughters.
Since then, Scatolini and the three other fathers have also appeared on WGBY’s “Connecting Point” television show, and they continue to work to get their message heard.
Part of the way the message is spread is through the sale of T-shirts and hats and other memorabilia with the message that reads, “Being There.”
Proceeds go to nonprofit organizations such as Rick’s Place, a bereavement center for families in Wilbraham.
“We don’t want to see it become too late for any father,” says Scatolini, adding that if fathers don’t give their daughters the attention they need, “they’ll get it from somewhere else.
“Our daughters need the support of their fathers now more than ever,” he adds. “If you’re willing to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, to take her to a healthier place, your rewards will be unmatched.”
Learn more about FourFathers at www.fourfathers.us.
